Friday, February 02, 2007

New Ploy to Make Us Even Fatter

Ok, so last night I went to the Eagle and had a lovely time watching the Wet Underwear contest (I correctly predicted that the little bear cub dude from San Francisco would beat out the clean shaven guys in spite of bigger muscles or penises--it's just that kind of bar). I also ran into a lot of fun people that I hadn't seen in a little while (and some that I see all the time). But that's not the point of this blog.

The point is that afterwards, I decided I needed some grease to soak up the booze I had imbibed, so I headed over to McDonald's, and I'm in the Drive-Thru and start to order. I order a double cheeseburger. And the girl on the speaker has a very bitchy tone and says "Is that it?" and I say, "No, I'd also like a small french fry." And then she says, very bitchily again, "Is that it?" And I say more vehemently, "NO! That's not it! I'd also like a filet-o fish." And then again, she comes back even more bitchily with "Is THAT it?" And even though I totally didn't even need that much food, I feel like I have to show her who's boss, so I say, "NO! I also want a Big Mac!" And then again, she's all: "Is that IT?" And finally, I realize that I've ordered way more food than I needed, but now all of those food items sound good to me, and I'm not going to have her take one off. So I pause, and then very calmly and drily say, "Yes, that's it."

Now, ordinarily, I would just think this was a one-off experience of a rude fast food employee who doesn't know how to nicely take an order. But...

Last Sunday I was crashed out over at Comrade Snarky and Chef Assassin's, and we woke up a bit hungover after a long evening of entertainment, including the Trinity Broadcasting Network's Christian version of American Idol hosted by cute blond ex-Backstreet Boy Brian, which they call "Gifted". For some reason that title makes me think the opposite. It would be better if they called it "Touched" like "Touched in the Head". But I digress from my digression.

Cesar and Traci and Leo came over and we played VJ and chatted and drank and drank. So Sunday I had crashed there and had a bit of a headache. I went with Miss Snarky to Wendy's for some grease, and the lady kept asking me if that was IT after each item I ordered. I was ordering for three people, so, NO it wasn't IT. They should be so happy to get our money.
But now after the McDonald's episode I realize that this is a very very clever upselling ploy.

If you are a fast food employee and are polite and say to a customer, "And what else would you like?" then the customer has an opportunity to say, "That's all, thanks." (Kind of like the "And thennnnnnn?" from "Dude, Where's My Car" totally doesn't make you want to keep ordering.) But, if you act like the customer is kind of annoying you and you just want to get the hell off your shift, then the customer (at least a customer like me) sees it as a challenge. He doesn't like your uppity attitude and will purposely keep you on the line and order more and more items just to make you work harder. Of course, you have won because you've made the customer over-order.

And then the customer takes his sundry items home and scarfs all of them, NOT refrigerating the Big Mac to eat the next day. Of course the chicken in the chicken wrap (oh, I forgot about that one) won't stay crispy and must be eaten immediately, as must the fries. But the double cheeseburger and Big mac could have been saved. Oh my god, did I really eat all that food last night? Damn you, McDonald's!